Me too. These two words are everywhere. They have empowered women to come forward and tell their story. Women are coming out and telling of unwanted sexual advances, of sexual misconduct, of molestation, and of rape. These two simple words are breaking open the culture of silence, the cultivation of shame and the cult of male entitlement. Women are raising their fists in protest and self-defense to strangers, acquaintances, partners, and presidents.
Stories are everywhere about date rape by such nice boys or sexual misconduct by peers and/or supervisors, of intimate partner violence, of molestation by teachers, priests, and coaches, of incest by family members, of every type of violation of a woman by a man. The stories are heart-wrenching by themselves and absolutely terrifying in totality. The stories resonate with every woman.
The immensity of the movement is also having an unintended consequence; men are coming out and telling their stories. Putting aside the fact that the reactions to men who are molested or who endure unwanted sexual advances are seen as much worse than what a woman endures, there is a story that bears worth repeating. One actor came out and told of his encounter as a 14-year-old boy with a 26-year-old man. The allegation was then overshadowed by the coming out of the older man as gay.
Unless you have been living under a rock, you must have heard about this story with Kevin Spacey and Anthony Rapp. What is so heinous about this story is Kevin took the opportunity to try to avoid the allegations of sexual misconduct by coming out as a gay man. Those two are mutually exclusive despite what Fox News has to say. Being a gay man does not make you a pedophile, or a child molester or a child abuser. In two short paragraphs, Kevin single handily set the clock back to Anita Bryant's 1972 and the DSM II. Too much? I think not.
That's right folks, Kevin's apathetic unapologetic coming out is proof to many that being gay is the same as being a pedophile, a child molester or a child abuser. It was confirmation that the gay agenda includes recruiting children by molesting them. It was corroboration that gay men are sick. It was the right's favorite word problem. Gay men molest boys. Men who molest boys are sick. Therefore, all gay men are sick.
This little Peep is outraged, to say the least. Being gay is not the same thing as having--or getting drunk and trying to--have sex with a child. Being gay is not the same thing as abusing the trust of a child who has neither the maturity or the emotional bandwidth to address the issues of sex, let alone sex with an adult. Being gay is not a disease or a mental defect or a character flaw and it is most certainly not illegal (although I fear that is the common ground for Muslins and Christians).
The other problem is the use and misuse of the terms in question. Pedophilia is an adult psychological disorder. Pedophiles denote a preference for prepubescent children as sexual partners, which may or may not be acted upon. Hebephilia describes an adult who is sexually attracted to adolescents or children who have reached puberty. These terms are diagnostic labels referring to psychological propensities or proclivities.
Child molestation and child sexual abuseare actions, these terms are used to describe actual sexual contact between an adult and a minor child. Even teenagers are minors. These two terms do not imply a particular psychological profile, propensity or proclivity. They are used to describe the incident. One should also note, or do some research like this little Peep did because not all incidents of child sexual abuse are perpetrated by pedophiles or hebephiles. In fact, sometimes the perpetrator has other motives for his (or her) actions and it is not an ongoing pattern of sexual attraction to children.
This is why the social mores are always relaxed when an older man is having sex with a young girl. The girl is always portrayed as much more mature for her age, and looked so much older, and did not tell anyone she was only 14 and so many other excuses about why it is just not that bad for a man to have sex with a female child. So if Kevin had tried to dry hump a young actress in his apartment and made a statement now that he was drunk and regretted his actions he would be lauded with finally recognizing the error of his ways. However, because his victim was also a male the crime is so much worse, once again demonstrating that men of any age are worth more than women.
What is so damn strange about this story is the fact that Kevin decided it was the right time to put all rumors to bed and finally come out of the closet. Seriously? This was the best he could do? Of course, now it is all people can talk about. Just walk around the coffee shop and you can hear the comments. Did you know Kevin is gay? Well, I have known for years. No real man is that comfortable in a threesome scene.I haven't heard anyone call out the elephant in the room. He was how old when he took a 14-year-old back to his apartment? What was he doing with a 14-year-old when he was 26? How terrible for that young person to live with that for so many years. Do you think Keyser Söze was supposed to be gay?
What is next? Will Bill Cosby come out and say he was drugged? Will Trump come out and say deep down he is a lesbian and grabbing a woman is just what dykes do? Will the Me Too movement come to be labeled as just a bunch of whiny feminists who should learn to keep their legs together? Will the Vatican hand over priests under their protection to face their accusers?
Probably not. What will happen? Kevin will not be welcomed into the fold. Anthony's sexuality will be traced back to that night. Me too and the collective of women who came out will be overshadowed by a man who can justify his actions based on alcohol.